No matter your relationship status, understanding the dynamics of healthy relationships is important

Domestic Violence Awareness Month is a time to be aware of the signs that contribute to having a healthy relationship, or an unhealthy one. Awareness, regardless of your relationship status—single, dating, or in a committed partnership—can be the key to preventing a potentially violent situation, before it starts. 

The Coast Guard partnered with the Department of Defense (DOD) in its campaign, “United Against Domestic Violence.” It calls for the military community to focus on increased awareness of, prevention, and early intervention in domestic abuse situations. 

The campaign focuses on two primary messages: “What’s Inside,” and “Pause,” for either those being impacted by the harmful behaviors of others, and those who are exhibiting those behaviors toward others and would like help. 

“We all deserve relationships that are free from abuse and violence,” said the Coast Guard’s Family Advocacy Program Manager Johanna MacGillivray, who is a licensed clinical social worker and a certified Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP) facilitator. “If you are noticing warning signs of harmful behaviors from your partner, or you are experiencing abuse, or if you want to change your harmful behaviors towards a loved one—we can help you.”   

MacGillivray added, “One mission of the Family Advocacy Program is to teach couples specific skills and strategies for how to communicate effectively, work as a team to problem-solve, manage destructive conflict and enhance love, commitment, friendship and safety.”  

Here are a few suggestions to develop a healthy relationship, according to a combination of resources pulled from Advice-Domestic Violence Prevention Methods and resources by the Regain Editorial Team, the Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program (PREP) and Military One Source: 

• Practice safe effective communication. It’s important that partners feel they can communicate openly and honestly. If you become angry while speaking with your partner, consider taking a short break until you can calm down and then resume communication.  
• Establish healthy boundaries. Every relationship needs to create mutual boundaries that encourage respect, trust and appreciation of one-another’s contributions. 
• Build and maintain a support system. If there is a conflict in your relationship, ensure that you have a network of family, friends, community members or a support group that you can turn to for advice and guidance. It’s important to know that you will not be alone in the event of a crisis.  
• Practice technology safety. Be cognizant and respectful of what you post on social media. Although social media platforms promote visibility, try not to include personal identifying information. 

• Know your rights. Ensure that you understand your rights within your relationship and where and when to seek help, if needed. 

Now that you’re aware of practices within a healthy relationship, here are some danger signs to watch out for in a relationship. The most common types of domestic abuse are emotional, physical, sexual, financial and stalking.  Here are some examples of abuse: 

• Intentional insults 
• Escalation, which are often negative comments that spiral into anger and frustration 
• Invalidation of partners’ emotions or beliefs  
• Withdrawal and avoidance from conversations, which prevents conflict resolutions 
• Negative interpretations, which is when your partner consistently believes that the motives of others are more negative than is the case 
• Blaming 
• Intimidation 
• Jealousy 
• Exhibiting power and controlling behaviors towards their partner 
• Destruction of property  

• Physical or sexual aggression 

“If you sense that an interaction with your partner is beginning to escalate negatively, the best thing to do is to tell your partner that you’re taking a time-out, and walk away,” said MacGillivray. “Domestic Abuse can range from mild to life threatening, so it’s essential that you seek help, whether you are the person harming or being harmed. Every person's situation is different, and so is the support that you may need.” 

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Resources: 

• If you are a victim of intimate partner abuse or need help with feeling safe in your relationship, contact your local Work-Life Field Office, Family Advocacy Program, at 1-202- 475-5100. A Family Advocacy Specialist is available to offer free and confidential support, counseling, safety planning, and resources. 
• CG SUPRT is available to assist active-duty members, reservists, civilian employees, and family members with a full range of issues such as financial matters, relationship discord and other work life stressors. You can also visit  www.cgsuprt.com. 
• Chaplains - call 1-855-USCG-CHC (872-4242) or connect with them online. 
• Coast Guard Mutual Assistance: To request assistance with CGMA’s Safe Harbor Program, which empowers intimate partner abuse survivors and their children with a fresh start, please contact Jessica Manfre, CGMA's case manager, at  jessica.manfre@cgmahq.org or 571-438-9501.  
• Coast Guard Legal Assistance - Coast Guard legal assistance attorneys provide advice and counsel regarding personal legal matters at no cost. Located at Legal Assistance - Find-A-Legal-Assistance-Lawyer (uscg.mil) 
• The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (SAFE). This hotline can provide information regarding shelters, housing, counseling, job training, and legal assistance in your area.  

• The Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline – provides support to those concerned about or affected by child abuse and provide appropriate, individualized guidance for those who reach out. Call 1-800-422-4453 or visit online at Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline | (childhelphotline.org)