This past April, Ensign Natalie Haas and Ensign Jacob Haas graduated together from Coast Guard Officer Candidate School (OCS), becoming the rare married couple to do so.
“We weren’t the first,” Natalie Haas says, “I think there might have been someone in the nineties.”
Still, the Haases, who met in A-school, know a thing or two about the challenges dual career couples face in the Coast Guard. Once they got settled into their new station in Portland, Oregon, they agreed to talk to MyCG about their experiences. This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
MyCG: So, you guys met in A-school. When did you get married?
Jacob: We decided to get married 6 weeks after we met. I was wearing my trops. My supervisors said, “Don’t do it!” They were probably right. We were so young.
Natalie: Yeah, they tried to talk us out of it. But we got married because we wanted to be stationed together.
MyCG: Did that work?
Jacob: Yes. They shipped us to Alaska, to Kodiak, probably just to stick it to us. Natalie was in the comms station, and I went to the original Coast Guard Cutter Munro.
Natalie: We got married to be together, but then I didn’t see him because he was on a boat.
MyCG: That must have been challenging? Any lessons you learned there that might help other couples?
Jacob: I wouldn’t have done anything differently. The CGC Munro was a great experience and we stayed optimistic. We handwrote and mailed letters the old-fashioned way—the ombudsman was really good at helping get letters delivered to the boat.
Natalie: I’d say, try to focus on what you can do for you and what the Coast Guard can do for you if you get an isolated billet like Kodiak, or a billet where you don’t see your spouse a lot. I used TA (Tuition Assistance) and worked on school.
MyCG: Where did you go next?
Jacob: We got out of the Coast Guard. My captain said really nice things, but I guess this is a normal thing sometimes once people go through their initial service.
Natalie: There’s a retention problem with E-4s and E-5s. People want to get out and go to school, understandably. I got out because I felt like I needed more autonomy. Going to school and getting back in taught me how to advocate for extra responsibilities and the work that I wanted.
Jacob: We sailed for a while. Then, Natalie studied dental hygiene, and I studied chemistry. We both graduated in 2018. I was thinking about going to dental school, but got a job at a start-up instead, creating a mobile game app. I also worked for Genentech.
Natalie: And I was working as a dental hygienist. Then we had our first baby.
MyCG: What made you come back to the Coast Guard?
Jacob: There was a Go Coast Guard sign posted on the street where we lived. One day, we had a talk about how we loved the Coast Guard. We said, “You know the Coast Guard, that was pretty good. What if we were in the Coast Guard, but not in Kodiak?”
Natalie: Honestly, I didn’t know what the Service had to offer when I first joined at 17. Being older and knowing how I could fit into the Coast Guard this time made me want to return. I try to mentor younger people who talk about getting out now.
MyCG: Has it gotten any easier to manage dual careers since you came back?
Jacob: Yes and no. It was challenging at first. In 2020, we were sent to Sector New York. I was an OS (Operations Specialist) in the command center for Search and Rescue and Natalie was in Vessel Traffic Service. For three years, they put us on opposite days. We both had to do watch.
Natalie: It’s tough when OS’s are in a relationship because you never see each other.
Jacob: At the time we had a 6-month-old son, Olafur. We stood 12-hour watches, but there was no daycare open for the 13 hours it took to work. That’s why they put us on opposite schedules. When weren’t working we were taking care of our kid.
Natalie: Then we had our second kid, Darwin. I would always work days. Jacob would work nights and roll off days. We’d have to tag high five each other and pass the kids off.
MyCG: How did you do it?
Jacob: It’s a blur now—we did our best. My schedule changed every single month. Fortunately, Natalie had a set schedule. I remember when I was on nights, not having enough sleep and ending up really sick. On a positive note, we wrote a paper for a challenge at CG_Ideas@Work. There were no fatigue standards at the time. It became part of D1’s watchstander wellness initiative. The Coast Guard made the changes it could—if you don’t have the bodies, you can only do so much. The new standards came out last year.
MyCG: Wow, that’s scary, but good that the Coast Guard adjusted. Are there any other ways the service has helped you as a dual-career couple?
Natalie: They say they’re moving forward with more family friendly schedules, but it still depends on what rate you are, and what your jobs are. If you’re both OS’s it’s going to be hard. One reason we wanted to go to OCS is because we knew there would be better schedule on the other side—that our quality of life would be better. We were in a unique position because we were both watch standers. But being any dual career couple is going to be hard anyway. Your kids bear the brunt of it.
MyCG: So, how was OCS?
Natalie: OCS was work but compared to our lives before it felt like a vacation. We’d go to bed at 10 p.m. and wake up at 6 a.m. We got to work out, and had our meals made for us!
Jacob: The Coast Guard gave us the option to go through OCS at different times. But to stagger it meant that one of us would be home and still working a Coast Guard job, and then when it came time to transfer it would be tricky. So, we ripped off the band-aid. We took my kids to stay with my mom in Washington for the 17-week program. That was tough. The Coast Guard is set up with the assumption that one person is in the service and the other is home taking care of everything else—not for when both parents are doing the same thing.
MyCG: How did you decide where you wanted to be stationed after OCS?
Jacob: One of the things with dual-career couples, is that one person has to be willing to be flexible. In discussing what we both wanted for our careers, eventually we arrived at the priority—Natalie is really interested in becoming a marine inspector. So, I was flexible. Then we prioritized the jobs we wanted. You want to try to look after your family and try to push your career forward. I made a list of my top picks in the incident management division.
Natalie: I wanted to go into prevention. We got assigned to Sector Columbia River in Portland. I love it! I am learning how to inspect vessels and work Monday through Friday right now. We’ve never had this much time with our family before. It’s fantastic! I just started the Apprentice Marine Inspector (AMI)—the 12-week training course.
Jacob: That’s another point to make in terms of dual careers. If we were both in prevention, we might have found ourselves competing for the same jobs. If you have that division (in interests), it can be a little easier to get to a place where you’re both happy. Right now, I think I’m moving towards emergency management, and beginning grad school this fall. Natalie has to get certified and finish training. My goal is to get pollution, OU, and CDU quals (qualifications) and develop instant command quals.
MyCG: Is there anything else the Coast Guard could do to make life more balanced for dual-career couples?
Natalie: More leniency with the childcare would help—an understanding that if childcare center doesn’t open until 8 a.m., don’t make that watchstander suffer by making them get to their job before then. They want to be there, so try to accommodate them. Make their schedule compatible with what they need as a person. I think the Coast Guard is slowly making those changes.
Jacob: We were able to use paternity leave, which was huge. Things shouldn’t be set up so that if you’re trying to do what works for your family, people think you’re trying to take advantage of the system. If their daycare isn’t open yet, allow a person to come 30 minutes to an hour after when the shift would traditionally start. And make this standardized as opposed to putting it all on members who might not know how to advocate for themselves with their supervisor. This has to be better than having two parents work on opposite days. If you don’t live by your family, childcare can really be a challenge. Right now, my mother-in-law lives with us. She was working full time when we were at OCS. Now she’s retired and can help with the kids. Most people don’t have that.
MyCG: Any other advice?
Natalie: Be nice, be chipper, work as hard as you can, and remember there’s always an opportunity to leave the situation you’re in. Over time, I’ve learned they don’ t give you the shining billet right away. But with a little bit of waiting… If you work hard, better billets will open to you. Also, encourage your spouse, support their goals. We try to put family first and strive for billets that support quality of life. But you have to advocate for yourself. If you don’t, it will be harder to get what you need. And advocate for others, if you can.
Jacob: Yes, that’s the big takeaway. It’s too easy to say, ‘I don’t know why they did that!’ But who are these “they” that you’re talking about? As I’ve gotten further in my career, I’ve realized that if you really have a problem, you have got to advocate for yourself.
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